Episode Seventeen

Ses Netrasso hated these sort of evenings. The Last Drop Inn was supposed to be a welcoming pub, a friendly pub. He wanted it to be a safe haven for all, regardless of whatever warfare was being conducted outside its doors. Mostly it was. Then there were evenings of this kind, however, when the battles were essentially conducted on his property. One day, he vowed, one day… But he knew that was meaningless. Whatever else he changed, he would always have to condone these arrangements as a price for being a landlord in somewhere like Jakks Way.
So he let Boldan and his gang have the back room for the night; the room officially closed due to leaking drains. He often turned it over to Boldan or another of the gangs and usually didn't mind. The would just gamble or take illegal herbs or do whatever else came into their limited minds. Overgrown louts, Netrasso considered, best out of the way of anyone decent. Tonight was different, however. Netrasso had been instructed to ensure nobody else came into the room. Even if they gave any of the secret codewords or knocks which usually allowed admittance. Nobody was to be let in – except Yaxi and Radav Tanson.
They'll be coming at eight o'clock, Boldan had said. And they did, with remarkable punctuality. The brass saloon clock was still striking when they sauntered into the pub. Netrasso studied them as they approached and tried to reassure himself: they know what sort of an evening this is too. They've faced them before and survived. They only gave the saloon one quick glance apiece. It was intense rather than casual, however, and seemed to tell them everything. Netrasso couldn't see any weapons on them. He also knew of a great many weapons which could be concealed, a great many places to conceal them; and he was only an outsider. They know what they're doing, he told himself again.
"Hey there, Mr Landlord," Yaxi grinned as they reached the bar and Netrasso wished she was acting a little less carefree. "Sorry to jump straight to business but I hear there's a guest list tonight and, hey, we're on it." She glanced significantly at the empty corner normally commandeered by Boldan.
"He's waiting in the back room." Netrasso nodded towards the door. "He said to go straight in."
"Well then, we'll just snog you and scarper if that's OK." They started to walk off.
"Wait," Netrasso said suddenly. He then looked around himself. Nobody officially on Boldan's payroll was left in the saloon, which didn't mean he had no presence there. There were always men looking for payments or favours. Still, he had to say something at least. Leaning across the bar and dropping his voice he urged, "You don't have to go in there. You can just walk away, you know."
Yaxi raised her eyebrows, still smiling. "Just walk away? When such a, you know, big important guy asks us round for drinks?"
"He said he were buying too," Radav supplied.
"The second invite we've had in a week too. First dinner with the neighbours, now this. I've a feeling Jakks Way's taking us to its heart. And what, we're supposed to turn it down? I think not. That'd be… what would that be, hon?"
"Shitey."
"Well I think you just made that word up but we'll kind of let it pass. No, we-"
"He's brought a lot of men with him," Netrasso said.
"See? Everyone wants to welcome us to the neighbourhood. I bet they're all in there waiting to, you know, shout "Hurrah!" the second we step through the door."
"Summit like that," Radav nodded as they moved away.
Netrasso watched them knock on the back door. Watched them step back, be scrutinised, be admitted, step inside; and so pass from his protection. He could do nothing now except hope that they were only playing with him, that they trusted him no more than they did Cepu Boldan.

"Radav Tanson and Yaxi Celcetto," Boldan said with a minatorial smile. "Been hearing quite a bit about you these last few days. Some real interesting stuff. Let's see… You've ridden the caravans up and down the Moretti Road. Passed right through Bladebranch Forest and fought off the Dark Elves. Took care of some seriously heavy business for some merchants on the coast, they were sponging the blood off the walls for weeks. Sailed on one of those ships that prey on fucking pirates." Boldan chuckled. "A nice legend you two are building. Any of it true?"
"All scripture so far, except now my name's Tanson as well," Yaxi replied. Her eyes flickered to the four men standing round the table, then back to Boldan. He was sat opposite them, his posture seemingly relaxed and friendly. "We kind of got married last spring but one."
"A spring wedding? Sweet. And here's my favourite tale. How you two were the ones who knocked over the Four Stars Bank in Chorley last year."
"You know, I told you that was a mistake," Yaxi told Radav. "We build one hell of a career, do all sorts of crazy things, most of which I'm so not going to repeat here. And what do we get remembered for? Knocking over a bank. Like, whoopee."
"Sweet job, by all accounts."
"Yeah, well, my point is, it's not really our kind of job. We only did it to get at something inside one of the vaults."
Boldan chuckled, glancing around his men. "That's the point of bank jobs, ain't it?"
"A specific thing, I meant, which we were hired to get specifically. By a guy who claimed to be its owner, by the way, and we did ask, why don't you just go to a counter and, you know, withdraw it yourself. But he gave us so much financial mumbo-jumbo, in the end it just seemed kind of easier to cut our losses and rob the damn bank. A-a-a-and, to get back to my point yet again… While we're not whaling on bank robbers, the team we put together were a real charming bunch-"
Radav looked at her sharply. "You reckon?"
"I thought they had a certain rough-hewn charm, didn't you?"
"I ended up having a punch-up with one of 'em."
"Were in the main a real charming bunch of guys – and thanks, hon, for that helpful intervention there – it's so not our favourite line of work. And nor's what you do most of the time, Cepu, 'cause I've sort of guessed where this is going already. We've done a bit of homework on you too. Cepu Boldan, 'Blood-Eyes' Boldan, real sweet nickname there by the way. Head of a little gang of scamps in central Jalkin for way longer than the Guards would have liked. Bank robberies, wagon robberies, the odd kidnapping, counterfeiting and, as a bedrock to the finances, that good ol' extortion racket. Plus the occasional murder as part of your ongoing push to be the only gang in central Jalkin. How's that one going, by the way?"
Boldan stared at her for a few seconds. "That's what we're here to talk about."
"Hey, you're going to give us a blow-by-blow account of the latest knife fights? Or do you kind of mean, you want to dragoon us into joining your gang?"
"Guess."
"You think he can guess what our answer's gonna be, hon?" Yaxi asked Radav. "I'm so hoping he hasn't so I can tell him and watch his face fall."
"It'll be a picture."
Boldan smiled slightly. "Yeah, that's it. Look at my face. Both of you. Thing is, you've given me a problem. If you were just more wogs coming into town to cream off the state, I could ignore you. Another couple of wog shits, I'd think, an'-"
"Nice," Yaxi smiled. "But kind of not too accurate when it comes to Radav. I'm looking into your face as directed and, hey, very sweet it is, but it's no paler than his. A bit less pale, you know, as you seem to be getting a bit tetchy. What's that all about?"
"Reckon you interrupted him there," Radav said.
"Oh yeah. I did, didn't it? Sorry. Carry on."
After a moment Boldan said, trying to keep his voice level, "I'd think some monkey an' his wog wife."
"That's better."
"But you ain't that, are you? There's these legends. I'll bet every bit of gold I've ever stole you've got some hardware stacked away in that flat of yours. And yeah, I know which flat it is."
"Well, duh."
"And you're putting out this story about how you're on holiday. I think that's a piece of shit. You're here for a reason. So what I'm saying is… You think I'm just gonna let a pair like you run around free in my neighbourhood? Talking to whoever you like? Doing any deals you like? Fucking well think again." Another pause, then Boldan added, "I'm not asking for much. I'm not saying, join my boys or else. Not sure I'd have a pair like you, to be honest. But we come to an agreement tonight. We make a… a treaty, understand? Then everything's settled, we're all good mates and we'll have that drink together. Right?"
Yaxi leant back and asked, "And if we don't agree to some of the sub-clauses in this treaty and, you know, refuse to sign it?"
"Just seven of us in this room. Me, my boys and you two. How many do you want to walk out?"
"Uh-huh. Hey, just out of interest, does this approach work a lot?"
"It does it's job."
"And do you think it's working right now?" Before anyone could react she asked Radav, "You know that thing you do under the table with your dagger?"
"Aye. Just got it in place now."
"What's it pushed against?"
"Dunno. Reckon it's his dick."
"Yeah? Is that right, Cepu, is the tip of his dagger right against – Yeah, look at his expression, hon. It's his dick." Yaxi looked up at the men stood around the table and announced, "In case you kind of missed that development, my husband's got a dagger pressed right up against your guy's dick. Anyone does anything to make him tetchy, it's going to go a foot further forward and won't that be fun to watch. You know, hon," she added, "I sort of wish you'd stop choosing the dick. It does a job but, you know, lacks class."
"Weren't out of choice. I were aiming for the belly but seemed to get lost."
"Yeah, right." Yaxi's hands dropped. When they came up again each was holding a knife; tight, angled, ready to throw. She swivelled on her chair so she could see all of Boldan's men at once. "OK, what I could do with now is for you guys to all take a few steps back." She waited. None of them moved, apparently frozen in uncertainty towards this new situation. "Guys?" Yaxi said lightly. "You kind of want to start listening to me? Otherwise I've a feeling your boss is gonna spend the rest of his days talking in a high pitched voice. Which I admit would be pretty funny but-"
"Do what she says," Boldan rasped.
"Thanks, Boldo. Want to repeat that in that high pitched voice just to give them a taste? No? Oh well, it would've been a scream. OK, that's far enough, guys," she called to the men who had been slowly shuffling back. "Sort of awkward throwing knives at people when they're standing real close, did you know that? I think I've got you in the, like, optimum range now. So why don't you put down your dagger and you drop that dinky little crossbow and you – well, you're so tooled up you'd better take off your whole belt. Don't be, you know, embarrassed if your pants fall down. I'm a pretty worldly gal."
They were good, she conceded, now that they had recovered from their shock. They moved very carefully, very slowly. And their concentration was locked on her, waiting for the first stutter in her attention. She was good as well, however. Her eyes moved evenly from one man to another, noting every movement. Her hands held the knives in a steady, vigilant grasp. Radav, meanwhile, continued to stare at Boldan, his own dagger maintaining its gentle but steady pressure.
There was a pause after the gangsters had put down their weapons. Thinking he had detected uncertainty in it, Boldan demanded, "Now what the fuck are you going to do?"
"We-e-e-ell," Yaxi replied brightly, not turning around, "Seven people entered this room, like you said, and I think us two are gonna leave it now. The rest of you don't have to. You can stay here, settle down and grow crops. But it's sort of beddy-byes time for me and the husband."
"This'll be good," Boldan sneered. "You watch this, lads. See how she gets out like that with her bad leg."
"Oh. Yes. Me and my bad leg. Oh deary, deary me. What is, what is –"
She tapped her foot. Then she and Radav rose swiftly and simultaneously. Yaxi tossed one knife up; Radav snatched it out of the air. Now he had two daggers ready to be thrown; Yaxi had her walking stick in her free hand. The whole manoeuvre had taken perhaps three seconds.
"-What is a poor old cripple to do?" Yaxi continued. "Hey Boldo, why don't you get up kind of real carefully and go over to join your guys. It's so, so sweet to see a little gang all sticking together. And why you might be thinking is, three daggers, five of us, wa-hay, no problem here. But we will be aiming at the very first guy who moves wrong and after all you've heard about us, do you really want to be that guy? You know, really? What's more, Radav will still be tossing a blade right at Boldo and, being Radav, he'll be tossing it right at Boldo's dick."
"It's a big target," Radav said. "You've got to give him that."
"Well, I'm kind of disturbed you've even noticed that. But after a number of years I'll probably be able accept it and move on." Boldan had reached his men. Yaxi and Radav began circling towards the door, eyes still clinging to the gang.
"And what do you reckon'll happen to you when you get out there?" Boldan demanded, his tone still belligerent and disdainful.
"Well, I'm hoping we'll all be able to look back on this one day and laugh together," Yaxi said. "We are on holiday, Boldo, despite this weird belief of yours that we never can be, and we so want to get on with it."
"Then you should holiday somewhere else. And start packing tonight."
"Yeah? OK, but we've already done the coast, we've done the hills, we've done the two lakes… Nope, I think the Cities suits us fine."
"Then you don't have the first fucking clue who I am," Boldan spat.
They had reached the door. "No, we've met you before," Yaxi said. "We kind of meet you in every town and city we roll into. And hey, it's always a pleasure." She leant her stick against the wall. Radav tossed a knife back to her and turned the door handle. "And you know who we are, Boldo," Yaxi continued. "'Cause you took the trouble to read up on us which, I've got to say, is kind of touching. You know what we can do. We knocked the Four Stars Bank over and that was pretty much a rest day for us. I'm not even bothering putting that on the résumé, 'cept maybe in the 'Other Experiences' box. So you so need to ask yourself if you want to be dragging us off our holiday. 'Cause if you do we might be a bit… is 'narky' the word, hon?"
Radav opened the door a sliver, glanced out, turned back. "Aye. Narky." Again the knife was thrown between them and Yaxi was holding her stick once more.
"And when we get narky… well, it's kind of not good. Just think about the alternative though. All of us sat down together, laughing about this evening. You guys getting on with your busy little deeds, me and the husband just taking it easy. Sweet picture, isn't it?"
Then they were out of the room and the door was kicked shut. The knives vanished as soon as they re-entered the saloon of the Last Drop Inn. They proceeded cautiously, however, Radav walking backwards while Yaxi scanned the drinkers in the pub. Nobody stopped them. Everyone, in fact, tried to avoid looking at the little procession for more than a second. When Boldan commandeered the back room for an evening, it was best not to be interested in what came out.
Boldan himself didn't. Not while the Tansons were shuffling through the saloon; not while they were hurrying down the street. They stopped walking back-to-back and flitted their concentration around the shadows, aware that the gang could have found a different exit and a different angle.
"You know," Yaxi remarked after a short distance, "If this is gonna become a thing, I'll have to find a way to take my bow out with me. 'Cause one day they're kind of gonna find out I can't throw a knife for shit."
"You could just learn how to," Radav pointed out.
"Well, that's not really very likely, is it?" The tapping of her stick on the flagstones grew more rapid. She was now moving at the fastest pace she had short of the uncoordinated lurch which approximated a run. Radav looked behind him again and the street was still empty. Yaxi stared ahead, though she could now detect their tenement block – and the street was still empty. She tried to move quicker. "He knows where we live," she said unnecessarily.
"Zokou can look after herself."
"Yeah. Only there's a certain method she might choose to look after herself which could cause, you know, complications afterwards. Not that she'd choose to do that if there were any other-"
"Aye," Radav said heavily. It was the closest he ever came to telling his wife to shut up.
"You know," Yaxi ventured, "We could try the coast again."
"It stinks of fish an' the folks are all tossers an' the bloody cliffs keep falling down," Radav said with uncharacteristic venom. "Don't talk to me about the damn coast. Anyway, we need to get Zokou sorted. Reckon we could do that in Port Sea Shanty?"
"True."
"Besides which, you said it yourself. We meet Boldans everywhere. Want to start running from 'em all?"
"And if Zokou's had to kind of adopt that method of self-defence."
"Oh, aye. We'll leg it then. First coach out of here."
Zokou had not. She had been enjoying a quiet evening alone attempting to study. Therefore she was somewhat nonplussed when Yaxi and Radav barged in abruptly, barricading the door behind then with any spare items of furniture, unlocking the chest where their proper weapons were stored. Boldan hadn't attacked the flat. He didn't launch an attack the whole of that first tense night. And if he did, when he did, he would fail. The Tansons were all confident of that. They had survived far worst than Cepu Boldan before.
Nonetheless he had changed them. And in one way he had damaged them. They had to be vigilant now. They had to plan. They had to consider other people properly, not simply targets to be courted or deceived for amusement. Their idyllic first period, when they were indestructible players in a game nobody else understood, was over. They were at risk and they were just a little afraid. In short, the Tansons had properly arrived in Jakks Way.